Your site gives so much comfort and support.
I would love to hear from parents who have lost babies.
My baby was stillborn as a result of a knotted cord.
It happened 9 months ago and it sometimes feels as if everyone else has
forgotten. Joy Shillaker

We're in the initial stages of grief, our daughter's birth & death were 3 months ago. No matter how much love and support come from family and friends, it helps when talking to people who are going through a similar experience.

Reading the stories and dedications from other bereaved parents helps take away the loneliness - we're actually not on our own. And there is a support network out there.

Marcia, I went back to the website before I got your letter to see if Courtney's poem was in the Memorial Dedication - it was......and I burst in to tears - for several reasons,,,,,It makes it all the more real - Courtney is gone, we have to learn to live without her, live with the pain and any memories we do have....all the same feelings that hit like a tonne of bricks when I look at the plaque where we have buried Courtney's ashes.

I also cried because, as much as we miss her, Courtney lives on. She touched so many people and is still very much a part of our lives. She is remembered by more than just John and I. And having that memorial there is a way that she, with her family, can still reach out to other people - share the grief, share the love and help with the healing.

You asked if it would be OK to put "Heaven's Choice" on to the Family and Friends page - that would be great. And I'll let my sister, Naomi, know. She's my twin - she still doesn't know how to help me or John, but her poem has helped us a lot. We also used it as part of Courtney's funeral service. I know that Naomi will be pleased if she can reach out and support others as well.

John doesn't talk much about how he's feeling because he can't sope with people getting upset (he has his own grief to deal with and can't cope with others' grief), but he did start to write in a diary. So I showed him this web site and he just sat here and read - a lot!!! He thinks its great, and he probably will write one day. If it helps him, it is more than great - it is a lifeline, a wonderful support.

It's a bit bizarre to think that someone, or a group, from the other side of the world could be just the support that is needed and that helps - but, hey.....thank you very much. Regards, Roanne

On another note, it has been absolutely wonderful to have found JoAnn. We email a couple of times a week - she is a very special person and I am so grateful to have found her through your site. This is real proof that your site is invaluable. I only wish we could have some of your workshops here! Have you ever thought of expanding internationally? Or channelling through someone local?

As mentioned before, there is so very little in the way of support here in NZ. Thank you again for your email. I look forward to more personal healing - especially during Rose's due date (6 July) - from reading pages on your site. Regards, Fiona

THIS WAS MY SECOND MISCARRIAGE THE FIRST WAS 2/3/96 I WAS 11 WEEKS PREGNANT THEN. MY DOCTOR TELLS ME WITH MY RECENT MISCARRIAGE IT COULD BE SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY CHROMOSOMES DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION REGARDING THIS? IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

THANKS AGAIN FOR A GREAT SITE I WILL BE BACK FOR ANOTHER VISIT SOON

Part of Marcia's letter: On our Medical Page under Miscarriages we have many links to sites that discuss possible reasons for losses. Please check these sites out. I think they might suggest some possibilities for you to discuss with your doctor...or a specialist in the field (infertility doctors deal with multiple miscarriages). I hope these might help you.

Thank you for your kind words of support! My goal is to help folks realize that they don't have to walk this walk alone...

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to us. I have visited the site once again and seeing my poem proved to be a very emotional experience for me so thank you once again for providing this opportunity for Anna and I. I deliberately wrote the poem devoid of punctuation and your arrangement was just perfect.

We are a little confused as to the process of subscription to the SHARE Newsletter. We would very much like to subscribe. Maybe you could confirm this process to us at your convenience.

Marcia's Comments - Thank you for sharing your thoughts about seeing your poem on the page. As parents share this experience with me, I reflect that, perhaps, one of the many feelings that rush through us as we look at what we have written for our special babies - is that of validation.

Our babies are real and special to us, even when others may not fully understand what they mean to us. Seeing our own feelings or reactions, in our own hand, give us full recognition of what we have been through and how important our babies are to us. Emma will always be your child and a part of your life. As you heal, much of the pain will leave, but her presence and your love for her will always be there.

Our newsletter editor can be reached at: bsmommy@mindspring.com. Jennifer will send you a years free letters and put you on that mailing list. Please email her and just explain that you wish to be "put on the list." Give her your mailing address. She read your poem and wishes to use it in our next issue on "Father's Day."

Entry #3~12/31/98: Anna and I are very happy to tell you that our last ultrasound scan revealed that our baby expected on February 14th 1999 is another little girl. We have named her Abaigh which is the Gaelic translation of Abby but pronounced the same and of course we are very much looking forward to her arrival.

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