We had my husband's grandmother make ceramic angels (one boy, and one girl) to give to our parents in memory of their grandchildren. It helped not only our parents, but also made his grandmother feel she was helping us in remembering our children.

These things helped us through last Christmas, and I'm hopeful that one or many of these ideas may help you keep your children forever in your heart this holiday season as well. Love, Colleen

Time does heal but the oncoming holidays have opened my wounds. I wrote this poem and I would like to share it with you:

I bought one last year in memory of my son, Ian. On the outside of the ring I had engraved Ian's first name and his birthdate; in the center of the ring is the September birthstone. I wear it every day. It's probably the most significant momento I have for remembering my son. The ring took about 6-8 weeks to receive, but well worth the wait.

Just thought I'd pass the information along in case there are other Moms out there looking for a special momento. I enjoy "sharing" my son with others as well as having him close to my heart, so the ring has provided both for me.

Not sure I'm in the mood for the holidays again this year; I'm finding myself looking through catalogs instead of tackling the store traffic. I think it's going to be another lonely holiday season.

With the holidays coming up I can't help but let my thoughts drift to Ryan and how it would be if he were here to share holidays with us.

I know there are so many people out there who are going through this too. I don't really have anybody to talk to about this. Peoples reactions to me when I bring up anything to do with my loss and they give me the impression that they think I should be over this by now. That life goes on...... Well yes it does but it doesn't make it any easier.........

Thanks for letting me vent.

We sang this song while I was growing up and when I got pregnant, since I was afraid to be happy about it to anyone, I sang this to him every night.

It is amazing how I sang this and not ever even considered that "please don't take my sunshine away" could actually be my most earnest prayer. I never thought that he would be taken away.

I am so thankful for you and to God for allowing me to have you for 7 1/2 wonderful months. I love you with all of my self and miss you more than words.

So, on this day before Thanksgiving I am sending my love to you, my special baby boy. I wish I could hold you and love you and have you for Christmas, but for you I will be strong and make it through this time... I love you, and you ARE my little bit of sunshine.

We decided to name the baby Christian Lee, for a boy or a girl. (Secretly, I felt this baby is the little "sisser" Elizabeth dreamed about.)

As we began to celebrate the holidays, we bought a little teddy bear with "Christmas 1998" embroidered on it. We also selected a gold angel ornament and had Christian 1998 engraved on it.

(It is my hope that I will see my little angel someday in the hereafter.)We plan to bring these items out every Christmas.

This is the one time of year that I get to remember him by going to our local Share group Christmas Service. I'm very thankful that Share was there when I needed them most.

It always seems to get a little tougher during the Holidays as we miss those children who should be with us but aren't. One of the ways we remember Michael and Kelley is by giving gifts to a local toys for tots drive each year.

We chose the gifts that would be appropriate for Michael or Kelly if they were still with us. This year they would have been 5 so we will donate toys that a 5 year old boy and girl will enjoy in Michael and Kelley's memory.

We also purchase two angel ornaments each year for them. We remember them as we hang their ornaments on the tree each year. It helps me feel that they are remembered along with the rest of our family.

I have recently come across a web site and catalog that has three special things that I thing are perfect for remembering our little ones. The catalog is Personal Creations and their web site is www.personalize.com.

They have a lace angel ornament that they embroider with your child's name. They also have a silver plated locket ornament that has "My Little Angel" on the outside and inside has depiction of a guardian angel watching over a baby and a place for you to put your baby's picture in. They have both a blue one and pink one. They also have a Lane Keepsake Box with a heart on the outside and they will engrave your baby's name on it. I had to share these things with you and please feel free to pass the information on.

I really need help in coping with Christmas. I have tried to hold it together in preparing for it, but I absolutely lost it today. God, my heart is ripping in two, and it hurts to breathe.

I lost her on March 13, 1999,....I've survived for almost a year but my world is crashing on top of me. I miss her so much.

I wish I could just tell her how very much I love her. I write her letters all the time and keep them in a book for her. Hopefully some day she will be able to read them with me.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is because i really need help in knowing how to deal with Christmas and there are two reasons.

Number one this would have been the 1st holiday i could have brought her to, and number two, my nephew and his wife just had their first baby a week ago and will be bringing him to Christmas.

I don't want everyone to feel sorry for me, but no one understands and everyone will be goo gaa ing over their baby. Call me extremely jealous and extremely hurt because that's what I am.

Anyway I was just needing some helpful advice. I hope you have a great Christmas!!!

Their loss has left a torn-open place in my heart that I'm not sure will ever heal. Most days I do very well--others, though, all I can think of is the three little faces I never got to see.

I attend a growing Baptist church that holds a Baby Dedication ceremony in each month that has five Sundays. The Sunday following the loss of our third baby happened to be a Baby Dedication day. I didn't realize it until I was seated and the service had begun.

I was seated in the middle of a crowded pew, so I couldn't get out without creating a disturbance. I was forced to sit there watching those glowing, happy parents presenting their beautiful babies for the whole congregation to see. With tears streaming down my face, I tried to be truly happy for the families on the stage, but I felt terribly guilty as well, because my sorrow intruded on their joy.

After that, I tried to manage to be out on Baby Dedication days, or at least sit in the very back so no one would see my tears.

I wonder why churches don't hold memorial services for people who have lost children. Just once a year would do, just to be able to say the children's names and have others remember too that they did exist and are still very much a part of the families they touched.

With Christmas coming, we began decorating our tree. I shed more tears as I lifted out the angel ornaments we hang in memory of our "angels". I spoke each name and date aloud to our two young sons to remind them of the siblings they will see in Heaven.

It was such a comfort to remember and to know that August Angel, Spring Spirit, and Summer Storm are waiting for us in God's own home.

I would like to light a candle in memory of our babies. I want the world to know and remember that these children are just as much a part of our lives as the two that we are fortunate enough to have with us here on earth.

Here I am hurt and disappointed. December is a month that I just be so humbug about and it seems like I'm all alone. What do you say to people when they ask you "Are you ready for the holidays?" or "What are you doing for the holidays?" Being the type of person I am, I don't want to tell them because I know they want understand, plus I don't want any sympathy.

With both of my pregancies, my "little angels" were in my womb in December. Oh the joy to know that the following Christmas, a little one will be around to celebrate their 1st Christmas.

Little did I know that my joy would become hurt, disappoint and always remembering, especially this month on what should have been by now 2 precious little ones (3 and 1 years old, respectively).

I try to get in the "Christmas Spirit", but I can't because I'm always thinking about my little ones. Every little song I hear, parents taking their children shopping, listening to children talk about Christmas just brings me to tears sometimes.

I hear and see things that say the "real reason for the season". I know the Real Reason, but does that make me less of a Christian because of the pain and heartbreak I feel each time during this holiday season.

I am trying so hard to keep focus and know that Christ came on this earth to save us and that's a reason to celebrate. I am trying so hard to keep a happy face, even though on the inside it is killing me. I am trying so hard not to spoil anyone else "good spirit", even though on the inside I wish it was me with my babies and that I too could be in the spirit.

I know that one day all of this will go, when I don't know. As long as there are Decembers, I know I will always be remebering and thinking of "MY LITTLE ANGELS."

It is hard but it gets better. Its been 9 years and although there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my baby and wonder what it would be like to have her with me. I can get through each day.. Hang in there.

December 13 1991 I gave birth to a beautiful heathly baby girl. 12 days later, on Christmas day, my healthy baby died and no one could tell me what happened. I was told she had everything thing - RSV to a bacteria infection - and everything in between.

As a first time, very young mother, I trusted in my baby's Dr. and beleived everything he had said. Out of the 12 days there was only 1 day that I did not contact him about concerns I had. As it turned out, all of the concerns I called him and brought her in for were signs of her being very ill. She died of a massive bacteria infection that entered her blood stream. Something so easy to fix.

The guilt was overwhelming and still is. I know had I have chosen another Dr that she would be here today. In March of 92 the discovery of the Strep B virus was announced and it turns out that I am a strep carrier, so my baby was sick because of me. With hopes of this not happening to another child I contacted an attorney and filed malpractice charges against the Dr. After I realized that nothing was going to happen to him, and that he would still be able to practice medicine I accepted the fact that my baby was gone.

Within 2 years I was expecting another child. Today I have a very heathly 6 year old and I am expecting again in July. My daugter knows about her big sister and asks questions about her on a regular basis.

When I am asked how many children I have, I tell everyone 2. Because of her death being on Christmas day I have a very hard time with the holidays. I don't see that changing anytime soon. I also know that I have my own Christmas angel watching us and I know she can see how much we still miss her 9 years later.

Don't ask me how I got through the hardest time (holidays)for me. I went through the motions of "enjoying" the season, all the while dying inside with rage because my precious son will never enjoy a holiday with me. I did fine on Thanksgiving until I went to the cemetary and talked to him. I remember crying and wishing with all my heart things were different and I had something... anything to be thankful for.

I really felt as if my heart would break as I geared up for Christmas, what used to be my absolute favorite holiday. I hated all the gaiety of the season this year. I didn't want to do anything but of course, life goes on and so I did. I went shopping, dying each time I saw a tiny little baby (and it seemed like everywhere I went, there were 50!) or a pregnant woman.

I thought I would be fine as long as I didn't have to deal with stupid, insensitive people. I felt as if I stayed around those who have been with me the whole time, I would not have to deal with anyone... BUT... I was so wrong. Even those who have been really wonderful made hurtful comments about things I was doing just to get through the rough times.

Thank God for Marcia and this website! I have had two very meaningful conversations in the past month and both of you wonderful ladies... I think you were lead to call because without the two of you, I am not sure I would have been able to get through... THANK YOU BOTH SO VERY MUCH!!! (Angela Johnson - she is doing the online subsequent pregnancy diary right now-1/05).

As Christmas got closer, I hurt more and dreaded the time when I would be around all of the family. Sure enough, it was so very hard to pretend to exude happiness and peace, when I was hurting so badly. My little sister, who I love as if she was my own child, did something that made things better somewhat though. I was so afraid that people would think it was strange of me to buy CJ's grandparents something from him but it was all I could do to get through. Even though she is only 19, my sister got it! She, and she was the only one, bought me two little Precious Moments angel statues w/ my husband's and my birthstone. She bought another one but didn't tell me about it until we were opening up presents. She handed this little box to me that read on the tag "CJ, Love Auntie Sam" and when I could see past my tears, I opened the box and it was his birthstone angel, as well.

No one else even acknowledged him other than my husband and me. It made me feel so much love for her, more than usual, because of all of our family, she was the one who remembered her nephew and wanted to let me and my husband know that no matter whether he is living on this earth or not, she will always love him and miss him, just like we do. It helped a lot.

I did pretty well the next day too! Until I went to the cemetary and wished him a Merry Christmas. I have a question: Will it ever get any easier to go and look at his headstone? It hurts to see his name written on that cold gray slab of rock yet, it gives me peace as well.

The hardest part is that no matter what holiday I survive, my heart breaks each time someone else celebrates. CJ will never see a holiday with his family. That just breaks my heart every time I think I am beginning to heal! I am almost at the six month mark and even though my heart hurts, almost as bad as it did when he died, I still think I am getting better.

I can HOPE right? After all, as Marcia told me: there is always HOPE! Almost six months later, I am still a proud mommy who talks about her little boy's time here as much as possible. I am healing but it is a slow go!!! CJ's Mommy Crystal

Written in honor of our angel, Darcy Qinn, who went to be with Jesus on June 21, 2005.

Dear SHARE Atlanta,

We are sending this precious angel ornament in honor of our sweet angel, Darcy Quinn Strickland, who was called Home on June 21, 2005. We felt a sense of peace when we found and bought the ornament. We bought a separate ornament for our own tree just like the one that will hang on the SHARE Atlanta tree! We plan to make this an annual tradition. We sent this ornament from Spartanburg, SC, and we sincerely hope we can get down to the Festival of Trees to see the beautiful memorial trees.

I am also sending a poem I wrote for our angel in honor of her first Christmas. It means a lot for me to be able to share it with people who understand.

Marcia’s note: Kim read this at our November 2005 Candlelighting. She shared that last year's Candlelighting inspired her to compose this verse. Kim’s poem shares the “hope” that we each wish to have as we hold our baby’s memory close and embrace those moments and treasures that bring positive reflections about our baby to our hearts. Kim has also captured this beauty , peace and love in the lovely jewelry that she makes for so many bereaved parents. A gift from her baby, Hope….

You might wish to visit Kim's website - she makes beautiful jewelry in memory of our children.