SHARE Atlanta

SHARE Atlanta's December 2011 Updates

Coretta Monroe's Baby Gabriel Tree 2011

I have been busy posting messages for support during the holiday season on SA's FB page, but I wanted to make sure that I reached out to those who aren't on FB. So here are some of those messages..without the pictures that I posted. IF you can visit us on FB, please do, there are MANY pictures as well as postings. Know that we are thinking about you...

1. 12.2011-Coretta's Thoughts about her Gabriel Tree: Last year I found two table top Christmas trees on sale for 90% off at Home Depot and thought they would make great "frames" for Gabriel's ornaments. Each year since we lost him, I've gotten Gabriel an ornament (always loved that idea since I was little from the Hallmark commercials and vowed I would do that with my kids). When I get one for the SHARE tree, I buy one of the same for my tree. The only problem is I never put up a tree - which is shocking since I love Christmas -, so would end up taking all of Gabriel's ornaments home with me to put on the family tree or take his candle so his presence is there with us as we celebrate.

Well, this year, Gabriel has his own tree on the mantel with all 8 of his ornaments: one for the Christmas weeks after we lost him and our hearts were so heavy with grief and one for each one since. I usually attach a note to the SHARE one and also to the one I keep noting the year and why I chose that ornament for him. I saw a butterfly tree in last year's Southern Living Christmas Cookbook (now in my library) and thought the butterflies on top as the tree topper would be perfect. (I found them at Michael's in the wedding section). Pretty pleased with the way they turned out.

2. The Compassionate Friends World Wide Candlelighting:

Since 1997, the National Compassionate Friends (TCF) has embraced a candlelighting for people to do in their homes at 7 pm for one hour the second Sunday in Dec. Some of the local chapters hold services for their members during this time. (These services are similar to SA's Nov. Women's Candlelighting.) TCF offers support to those who have lost a child of ANY age. SA has been supportive of TCF since we began in 1984. We have done inservices with them and sent parents who have lost older children to their meetings. Often, they have sent those, in Atlanta, who have experienced a pregnancy and newborn loss to SA. Some of our members who have attended their groups say they are wonderful, but, as we know, most of the parents have a different set of issues then we do. SA speaks specifically to the needs of parents after a pregnancy or newborn loss (few memories; pregnancy issues; the need to create a safe connection with our baby, etc.) Fortunately, Atlanta can offer different groups for different needs. TCF's Worldwide Candlelighting is a special tradition for many families. One that anyone can participate in within their own home. There is something special knowing that other bereaved parents are sharing in this tradition.

3. Dana's Memorial Portraits: Years ago, SA mom Kim S had Dana take from three different photos to create this precious one of Ashley, Greyson (In loving memory January 21, 2004) and AJ. Since then, numerous of our families have made this one option for healing. You can see more of Dana's work specifically for memorials (many tiny babies) at the link I have provided below. You can do a search for her on FB, "Pencil Portrait by Dana," too. Remembering and honoring our babies can help us to heal..and to move through the holiday season.

4. SA mom, Betty Miller can help you take your precious memories and share them in a book that you create. She has created some dear books for herself in memory of her son and for others. (Together we designed the anniversary and thank you cards for SA.) If you are ready and want to do this, it can be a special way to remember your baby..and help you cope with the holidays. Other ideas are making or buying an ornament, a stocking, a stuffed animal..whatever fits your feelings.

5. Other Supportive Options for surviving the holiday season:

Through the years, SA families have shared many different options for remembering their precious baby. Many have placed wind chimes (picture) either at their home or at the SA Angel Memorial Garden. Some also have one at their home. The SA link has many options that parents have discovered: dolls made to the size of their special baby; memorial jewelry; naming a star after their baby; creating a book or portrait; having a photo redone without the medical equipment; planting a garden...etc. If you have a special keepsake or poem, we would love to learn about it. "Doing" in memory of our babies can help us along our path of healing..especially during the holiday season.

6. Moving through Grief during the holiday season

7. Healing Happens

8. Please consider joining us on FB

Please be gentle with yourselves during this time of year. You do not have to follow old traditions that might cause deep heartache. Protect yourselves..you can revisit old traditions as you heal..bringing those healing options that have helped along with you..(as Coretta did) .. if you wish.

Take care,

Marcia

The love stays..forever in our hearts.

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