After we have lost a baby, our innocence of thinking all pregnancies end with a healthy baby, is majorly challenged. We know pregnancy can end in loss.

For most, the path through the new pregnancy is filled with uncertainties that can only be totally calmed once we have a living baby in our arms. Some move through the nine months in "denial" - not fully recognizing or accepting that there is a baby being carried. Others totally focus on the baby to be. Then, of course, there are parents that fall between these two extremes. Also, dads and moms can vary greatly in how each handles the tensions of the subsequent pregnancy.

Usually, great care is taken to do "everything right" - no matter how one views the pregnancy. What seems to hold true for most parents-to-be is the nine months of waiting is intense and all consuming.

For many, recognizing these differences and tensions allows some alleviation of the stress. That's why SHARE Atlanta provides a Subsequent Pregnancy Group. The group is an effort to have a "safe haven" for moms and dads to address the issues that arise as their walk continues.

"Good, you are moving on...things are better." Of course, for the most part, these folks do not realize all the stress that can surround the next pregnancy. That's another important reason for having a place to share with others who "either are there now or who have been there" - they can understand and be supportive.

For most of us, total joy will only come when our living child is in our arms - and we do all we can to get to that place

Our group tries to provide support for parents as they move through the pregnancy that follows a loss

Parents come to the group with many uncertainties and fears that are mixed, usually, with a level of relief - "we finally are pregnant again". Most parents have mustered a degree of hope (needed to return to the road of pregnancy) and need encouragement to "hang-on".

Our volunteers know, first hand, about the stresses and confusion involved in a subsequent pregnancy. Our agenda for our meetings reflects these feelings and reactions - that we all have experienced!

Our meetings are on a four month rotation program with dads being welcomed every fourth month. We have found that moms need "mom time" to address their issues - sometimes over and over again. The meetings provide dad a break by allowing moms to speak to every issue imaginable. During the fourth meeting, dad can explore his concerns, hear what other dads are thinking and, hopefully, realize that their spouses', as well as their own, issues are normal.

Parents can gradually work through their fear or concerns in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. Many times moms connect so strongly that "after the baby comes" they form "mini" parent support groups - where they watch these subsequent babies grow! Again - support is the key word!

Topics are based on questions that have been asked at SHARE Atlanta's Subsequent Pregnancy Group.