I had stopped putting many of these on the site, but I have decided to include them. They often have words of wisdom or just something special for other parents to hear. I know I cherish input from those who visit...it keeps me going. (-: Marcia
"Notes and Letters to SHARE Atlanta"
"The days when loss hits you out of the blue are the hardest" by D (3/2005)
"Hi, I still come to visit...by Sarah mom to Baby Jo (1/05)
"THANK YOU, SHARE Atlanta by Cindy (2/17/04) GA
So 4 years on I'm still coming regularly to your site because even now it helps" by Sarah (1/6/04)
"Thanks for SHARE Atlanta and Angel Garden" by Maria (10/03) GA
Thanks Marcia for your site by Pam (9/03)
Student, and bereaved mom, studying Thanatology needs materials by Tracey (4/18/03)
Looking for the blue, pink and teal angel feet pins from Lisa Pawelkiewicz by Linda May (4/2/03)
"Thanks!" by Mandie (1/12/03)
Do you know of a reputable adoption agency? by Sheri (8/10/02)
"A Willing Volunteer" by Jeanni (7/29/02) GA
"Needed - a caring doctor and a private counselor..." by Janna (7/30/02) GA
"Thank you for the site and for the pathway" by Stacey (6/12/02)
Help finding someone to draw a picture of my baby...by Angi (5/2/02)
Looking for a support group by Mary (4/3/02)
SHARE Atlanta and my church helped me in my grief process
The days when loss hits you out of the blue are the hardest - today brings the birth of a friend's new baby - and my arms are empty still. I came across your site quite unexpectedly and by accident. Thank you for a place where it's ok to cry...thank you for all the stories that remind me I am not alone. I rejoice for those who celebrate new life and still aches for those like me - who miss the ones they never knew.
Marcia's thoughts: We are here for those who might need us. Together we work through the very moments that you are describing. It is okay to cry, work through our pain and grief, and, hopefully heal and find our way. Know that my thoughts are with you and thank you for sharing yours with us. Knowing we are not alone is very important for each of us.D
"Do you heal?" by D (4/4/05)
Hello Marcia, I thought I'd check in with you once again. As you can see I still come visit and I still cannot thank you enough for the help and understanding I have received from your wonderful site. Your still a star. Sarah mum to angel baby Joe. p.s if you would like to add this to your site feel free lol i dont mind.
2/9"Our son Joe, 1999" by Sarah (1/6/02)- Newborn Loss
Mollie by Sarah (1/6/04) New Arrivals
So 4 years on I'm still coming regularly to your site because even now it helps" by Sarah (1/6/04)
Marcia's thoughts: I always feel blessed when parents "check-in" and share that with me. It means more than you could know. It helps on those days when I wonder "what's it all about"? The members on the site and in the SHARE Atlanta group is why I do this and why we continue to have SHARE Atlanta...and it is all in memory of babies just like Baby Joe and Baby Bauckham. Thank you for sharing with me.Sarah
Thank you SHARE Atlanta for "guiding" me a long my dark and lonely path. It's been almost 6 months since my daughter Lacey was stillborn and I, thanks to you, am starting to live again. Without the love and support of the people around me, I would not have survived. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!
I love you,
Forever In Our Hearts......
Lacey MaKenna Ivey
September 16, 2003
I've sent a couple of ppl i know the link as well because they have had miscarriages and one had a 2nd trimester loss. They have done nothing but tell me how its so informative and what a help its been because,as u know,u do feel like the only one sometimes even though deep down you know your not so in some ways it helps to see others experiences.
So 4 years on I'm still coming regularly to your site because even now it helps, your a star Marcia keep it up.regards
Mollie by Sarah (1/6/04) New Arrivals
Thank you for the wonderful work you do with SHARE Atlanta! SHARE Atlanta has helped us deal with our loss in many, many ways over the last 2 1/2 years since we lost our Rachel (it's amazing how quickly time passes!); and the angel garden is such a special place for us to visit whenever we need to feel close to our angel.
We will see you at the ceremony.
You have a wonderful site and are achieving great things for families at a time when nothing makes sense. More power to you!
Brisbane, Australia.August 2003
I am currently a graduate student studying Thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement). I am doing a research paper on subsequent pregnancy after neonatal loss and am very interested in receiving any written information that you can send me. I have visited your website and feel that your SHARE program is the closest thing that I have found to real support for this fragile group of woman (myself included).
Anything you can send me would be VERY helpful. Thanking you in advance, TraceyTracey
First, I am sorry for you loss. Yes, losing a baby makes us fragile, but as we heal and learn more about coping, we can do what you appear to be doing, turn our baby's special memory into a productive and meaningful opportunity to help others. Our baby would want us to grieve his/her loss, but then make his/her presence meaningful and an outgoing strength would be very positive statement about our very significant child.
I am very interested in what you are doing. Please share with me what type of materials you might wish to have? How are you tying loss into the subsequent pregnancy issue? It is a major topic here. I applaud you for taking it on. Find a nitch with it and would be a very good paper.
Thank you also for your thoughts about my site. I do all of it in memory of my three and in hopes of helping support either other parents as they move through their own loss or friends and family of those who have a pregnancy loss. Marcia
I am looking for Lisa Pawelkiewicz, sister-in-law of Lisa Marie Pawelkiewicz. I would like to buy more of the blue, pink and teal angel feet pins I bought from her several years ago through Kidability catalog. Kidability has not responded to my requests for information. Thank you very much.Linda May
I share your frustration. I have had several similar requests and did a long search - which included phone calls to Kidability, etc. Unfortunately, like other good things in our lives, I believe this is no longer with us. I tried to find other angel feet and did, but that has been awhile ago and I don't remember where.
If you find the angel feet somewhere, please let us know. I will put your note in notes, and maybe someone will have an answer. You might check through our Links/Resource grouping of online shops and see if anyone now carries a similar product. As we have found out, product lines change through time. Marcia
Dear Marcie, This is Mandie, I received your email today, Thanks. Please continue your greatly appriciated hard work. Thank you very much.Mandie
Sorry for writing you directly. I am sure you have at least a million emails to go through but I couldn't find any information on the Share website. I have a friend who is wanting to adopt and she doesn't know where to start. She is afraid of ending up in some scam. Do you know of a reputable adoption agency??
Thanks for your help and your website that keeps me going!
Sheri ~ Justin's Mommy (stillborn 8/15/01)
First, I am glad you wrote - that is why I am here and why SHARE Atlanta continues. Supporting one another is what is important. Thank you, too, for the supportive comments.
We have had numerous families adopt in our group. One of the most helpful agencies is led by Marcia Barker. She has been running this organization for over ten years and has helped many of our parents. I have listed her website below - it offers much information. Her telephone number is: (770) 339-7236. She is local to Atlanta, but my guess is if your friend is NOT in Atlanta, Marcia can offer supportive contacts. She has seminars to learn more about the adoption process, too. Several of our parents have adopted Chinese daugthers and they visited with Marcia first. If your friend is interested in that path, I can give you some names of those in our group who have followed that path.
I will add her website to my website. She and I talked not long ago (we have been friends for a very long time), and her site wasn't up. So, now I can add it on.
Let me know if I can help you any further. Take care, Marcia
Marcia Barker's Adoption Information Reosources, Inc. Website - click on blue dot
A Willing Volunteer
I think you have a great website and I am pleased to see how much Atlanta offers its grieving parents.
I lost a child about 10 years ago in Louisiana. I became very active in the support group there, at one point being the ONLY voice for parents in our town of 10,000.
I moved here this summer and have been amazed at the differences in all aspects of community life, but also am most impressed with your organization. If at any time you could use my services in any way, please don't hesitate to call. Have a great day and God bless you. Jeanni T.Jeanni T
I am sorry about your loss ten years ago, and appreciate what you most likely achieved in LA. Becoming a one person voice and maintaining a level of identity to lift up your cause is a big commitment. Our special little ones have given us this cause, didn’t they. I think it is also very special that most of what we do IS in memory of our babies, and in honor of those who follow. I, also think we want newly parents to have support and to “give back” what we might have received from the group.
I would be delighted to talk with you. Our group is solely of “healed” bereaved parents who, for the most part, have been through our group and wish to volunteer with us. We have had some come from other states and join us. One woman, Candy, came from LA and volunteered with us for five years before she moved on. Another woman, Lucy, is now in NJ after coming here from the Midwest. She was our president for a while. Both of these women meant much to us. Lucy still stays in contact with us.
I will call you. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate the kind words of support for our website and outreach here in Atlanta, and the offer of possible volunteer support! It is only with parents being willing to volunteer that we can continue our breadth of outreach. Take care, Marcia
"Needed - a caring doctor and a private counselor..."
Is there anyone in the Atlanta, Ga. area that could recommend a caring, trustworthy OB/GYN? I desperately need to find a new one (preferably a small practice or one with only one Dr. in it). Thank you, JannaJanna
"The story of Avery" by Janna (6/11/02)
"One year later... The story of Avery Nava" by Janna (2/21/03)
"Janna and Aaron Seskin announce the arrival of their healthy baby boy, Rowan Micah ~ Born June 20th, 2003 (GA)(Janna did join us for a group meeting just before she got pregnant with Rowan, and told me that it was meaningful. She shared parts of her story as did other mom's.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have asked for a counselor and a physician in two separate emails. SHARE Atlanta has not established a "list" as such because we did not want to embrace any particular group of doctors. I know that the Compassionate Friends site lists counselors (or they used to).
After our meetings, our moms do discuss such issues, and I would guess online they do. There are links to local physicians on the site (under Medical Links). At our "Future Choices and Grief" meetings (April and Sept.) we discuss ways to help select high risk and infertility doctors. We also recommend Resolve (for infertility support). A local high risk doctor that has supporter SHARE Atlanta is Dr. Jeff Korotkin. His office has been very helpful to many of our parents. There are others that have been supportive, too.
If you would like to talk to me, I would be very happy to chat. What we have found is that there are a few really good high risk and more very supportive (after a loss) doctors in Atlanta. As with any doctor, some people like one more than another. It depends on the person and how he/she interacts with the doctor. In an informal setting names are brought up and discussed, but we try very hard not to get in the center of that discussion - as a group. We hope that doctors can send parents to us feeling sure that we are not weighing them as professionals. We are here to help the parent move through his/her grieve toward healing.
Yes, the selection process of a counselor or a doctor is very important - interviewing potential doctors, switching doctors, switching hospitals, or staying with a former medical team/situation is a huge decision for a bereaved parent. We understand that. So, we offer support for ways to go about that.
Often moms will discuss how a doctor or medical group helped/didn't help her/or them and in doing so she may help a parent who is seeking a possible alternative. This is done, though, "outside" of our actual group.
I could ask if you could call some of our moms who have different doctors/counselors, and you could discuss this issue privately with them.
I'd be happy to talk to you, too. Take care, Marcia
Below is a note to my response when Stacey sent us her news about their "New Arrival", Eion.Dear Marcia,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Paul and I always remember how generous and accepting you and Jennifer were when we first came into contact with you - right as the brick pathway was established! Whenever we're in Atlanta (and that's been some time, now), we always visit the cemetery to lay a rose at Grady's brick and reflect on his gifts.
So many great benefits have come from that first contact with you...as I would peruse SHARE's website from time to time, I emailed various people who so graciously shared their stories. I now consider one of my very best friends in the world - and my soul sister for that matter - to be Lynette Lynch, whose story about her son John Robert appeared right above mine about Grady on the website.
I also became a frequent correspondent with Jana LaFlair last year when she was expecting Ava, as I was very close in my pregnancy stages with Eion at the time. It's been such a comforting and fulfilling resource for me.
Thank you a million for all your wonderful efforts with SHARE, in tribute to your beloved son, and all of our children, in Heaven.God bless,
"Grady, Paul and Me" by Stacey (10/13/98) - New Arrival in June 2001!
Help finding someone to draw a picture of my baby...
Hi!! I hope you can help me. I am looking for somewhere that I can get a picture of our daughter drawn. I remember right after her death getting info on this, but now I cannot find it anywhere. Do you have any ideas or info on having this done??
I am hoping to get this to celebrate the day of her birth, in a few weeks--although I may have waited too long. Well, we'll see what we can come up with!! Thank you for your time!
Marcia's Reply: Hi, I wish that I could DO this for you. I have seen several of these completed in our group (through various sources) and they are, indeed, very special. Having said that, I have to say, I don't know anyone as of this moment who does this. You might go to our section "Links/Books, Resources, etc." and check some of the online stores - A Place to Remember might know of someone who does this. Several of our moms called local "artists" and protrait places and found names of people who would do this. It is hard to have to tell them what you are doing, but if you can find an artist who would do it, it is special.
Would you please do me a favor. I will put your letter on the site and if you have any replies or find someone who could do this for you, would you let me know. I would love to pass this on to someone else.
My thoughts are with you as you approach this important day. I hope that you can find someone who can help you. Take care, Marcia McGinnis
Entry #2: Thank you very much for all of your help. If I get any responses I will surely pass them on to you. I appreciate your time and generosity. Thanks again!! AngelaAngi
Looking for a group
Hello, I am 39 years old and lost my forth pregnancy 2/20/02. I have talk to my doctor about talking to someone and she suggested that I talk to a group. Could I please get some information and have someone call me.Friends and family try to help but I think if I here one more time "How are you feeling" I am going to come out of my skin.
I'm lost and don't know what to do!!!
Thanks for your time, MaryMary
Marcia's ReplyDear Mary,
I am sorry about the four pregnancy losses that you have had. All of us at SHARE Atlanta have had pregnancy or newborn losses, grieved in the group, and we are reaching out to others to support them as they grieve. Our site has a lot of support through reading, email exchange, virtual candleligthing, and memorial garden. Many parents have found comfort with others on the site.
If you will send me your address, I will have a "Parent Packet" sent to you. It has grief information, group info. with directions and times, our newsletter and information about our Angel Garden (see the picture on the site - click and learn all about it!). We are here to help you in any way that we can.
After four losses it helps to give yourself "permission to grieve" so you can regroup and begin to heal. Often we don't allow ourselves to do this in our quest to be parents of a living child. Together we support one another so these times aren't so confusing, and we look for options as we begin to heal.
I always say that I am sorry that anyone has to come to our group, but I am so glad that we are here for each other. Your doctor is a blessing to suggest support. S/he is very wise. I see very strong women joining us because they realize that help is good when the hurdles are so high. There is hope when all seems hopeless...
Lighting a virtual candle for Faith Koryn
Dear Marcia, Thank you very much for adding our baby, Faith Koryn to your page by lighting a candle in her memory. My husband and I both smiled when we looked at it in section 18--you are an angel to do this type of service to help others with their grief.
I read about other people's losses on your site and I would like to tell you how sorry I am for anyone who has had to endure the pain of losing a child. What strong people we must be to get through this type of tragedy! God Bless you and the other founder of the SHARE web site---I have added your site to my list of Favorites on my home computer.
Once again, Thank you for memorializing our daughter in this beatiful way.
Love, Deidre B.
Marcia's Reply: Dear Deidre,
I so appreciate your writing and sharing how the candle in Faith Koryn's memory has touched you and your husband. As I say, this is one of most special pages because the flickering lights remind me that our love for our children will never cease.
Thank you for the kind words of support. Yes, we have been made strong and able to survive tradgic life experiences, but I don't believe we can do it alone - or not as meaningfully. I think as we support one another we give out the love we have for our babies and for each other. I believe love is one of the most important gifts we can share. I believe it is written "the greatest of these is love...".
SHARE Atlanta and my church helped me in my grief process
I plan to enter my story on the website soon in hopes that it will help others.
At this time, I just want other families to know that SHARE Atlanta (in addition to my church) family has helped me immensly in the grief process. I am not sure if I could have gone on with life with out the support of this group. I thank everyone that I have met and has shared their experience in order to help me. Angela Johnson
Angela's story: "Gwendolyn" by Angela (4/29/01)
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