SHARE Atlanta Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Support
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"Notes",



Notes from 1997-'99
Friends in North-Northeast



"Notes and Letters to SHARE Atlanta"

Sandra/NJ/8/97 -"Three miscarriages"

Annie/ME/1/98 "Courage got me through the pain.."

Teri/MA/1/98 - "For she truly is an angel"

JoAnn/NY/2-3/98 - "It really helps to share with people"

Suzanne/NJ/2/98 - "...comforting to have these experiences to read"

Doreen/NJ/2-3/98 - "...your board as a way of expressing"

Vilma/CT/1/98 - "...love to hear from you"

Lauren/VT/4/98 - "...good for me to read about others and to know I am not alone."

Jennifer/MA/4/98 -"I am so happy I found Share..."

John and Cheryl/MA/4/98 -"I am hoping the newsletter will help some, since we have no family support."

Cheryl/MA/2/99 -"...looking for someone who would like to talk over our losses..."

"Looking to help others..." Rev. Daniel J. Mallaber of Newark, NY (5/15/99)





I belonged to SHARE about two years ago, after having two miscarriages in a row. I just recently had my third miscarriage and would like to start receiving your newsletter again. I would also like to send a donation to Share.

Thank you,
Sandra
Bloomfield, NJ
8/97

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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Greetings from Maine,
Yes, we are surviving the ice storm of "98! 13 years ago I miscarried a baby....12 years ago we lost David....He was a full term stillborn.

I had operated a chapter of SHARE up until 3 years ago. Now I do one on one. I would love to chat. And I will give support as needed.

I work in nursing......I raise and breed shetland sheepdogs. I have three surviving children...ages are 6, 10, and 17. All boys...Yes my toilet seat is always up! Or not raised at all... That is a different chapter!

To all of you parents who have gone through your loss, I truly understand! Courage got me through the pain............. I am glad I found you! Annie

Annie
Oxford, Me
E-mail
1/16/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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Note #1 Dear Marcia, Thank You for replying, I feel very lucky to be able to make this dedication to my beautiful daughter for my family. Not a day goes by that we don't think of our angel. For she truly is an angel. May she rest in peace and with out pain. This was my first month on the internet, and I am very fortunate to have stumbled on to your site. Again thank you. Teri&Rob

Note #2 Hi Marcia, Feel free to use this line from the dedication " The short time with you will be the treasures within our hearts". My husband really likes that line too, he thought it was a perfect way of saying exactly how we feel about the short time we had. Thanks for taking interest in it, and I feel just a tad honored. Take Care, Teri

(VisitMidterm Losses to find this line from Teri and Rob's dedication to Yvonne which you may read on our "Memorial Garden" page.)

Teri & Rob
Yvonne Marie Daudelin
Other
Pembroke, MA.
E-mail
1/29/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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Entry # 1 2/10/98 - Marcia, Thank you for including my submissions on the web site. I commend you for keeping this site active, I know that must be alot of work.

The site has helped me tremendously, in addition to two support groups that my husband & I are attending in our local area. I check the site often for new submissions from others. The site has helped me cope; I hope my writing helps anyone else who has suffered a loss. I've told some of my support group friends about your web site as well; it's certainly the best site I've found on the internet. I plan to write again as time goes on; thanks for allowing me to share. JoAnn W.

Entry # 2 3/17/98 - Marcia, Thank you again for including my thoughts on your site; I do hope it helps others. I appreciate your response notes back, too. You've been a big support to me; at least I know I'm not totally nuts! I know co-workers think my behavior and moods are quite bizzarre; if they only knew it all. It really helps to share with people who know the rollercoaster feelings. Thanks again, you're a great support to alot of people for keeping the site alive!

See JoAnn's Diary - a collection of her emails through four years.

JoAnn
Ian Marcus Walter
9/11/97
Stillborn
Binghamton, NY
E-mail


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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While it is heartbreaking to read the experiences of others, it is, at the same time, comforting to have these experiences to read. My husband, Richard, and I spent hours the other night reading through the Memorial Garden. Many tears were shed !!

Although I have not added our children's entries yet, I will soon. I want to make sure that our entries due justice to their memories. I thank you for making this website available, I will visit again soon.

(Marcia's comment: Dear Suzanne, Thank you for sharing your thoughts around the experiences shared within. I am continually moved by the support that others are willing to give to each other via the site.

It is comforting to know that no one has to move through the process of grief by themselves - others have gone before and are still, now, learning to cope and heal. Please be gentle with yourselves, and take the time you need to be, at whatever place you need to be, for "Now.")

Suzanne
Forked River, NJ
E-mail
2/19/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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Entry #1 2/28/98 - Yes thank you, I thank you for your board as a way of expressing all of what I feel deep inside of my heart. Even though no one else will remember him he will always be the child of my heart, my hope, and all of my dreams. His spirit came for a short time to give my sadden heart hope. Even for that short time I will carry the memory with me always. Sincerely, Doreen J. and Wendel S.

Entry #2 3/17/98 - Thank you so much for this page it has helped me to deal with a lot of pent up anger and sorrow, I now can begin the slow healing process, I know now I am not alone in my grief. In memory of my son I wanted to get a charm in the shape of a child, but my dillema is should I get one for the month I lost him or his actual due date - any suggestions would help.

Marcia's reply - Thank YOU for the kind comments. To help others, help themselves is why I started this page. Healing does take time and letting go of pent up anger and sorrow is usually the very first step toward healing. Grief does make us feel so alone. When we begin to realize that our feelings are normal and shared by others, we can begin to use the energy that has gone into "pretending all is fine" into healing.

Visit Healing a Loss after a Miscarriage...Doreen's Diary

Doreen
JAMES HOWARD JOHNSON
2/27/97
Miscarriage
EAST ORANGE , NJ
E-mail

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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My name is Vilma. After having 2 stillbirths one in 1990 and one in 1991 both girls at the age of 6 and 7 months I was going crazy with grief. The doctors say that they have no answers as to why this happened to me or if it will happen again. I am pregnant again after 7 years and I want to know if anyone out there has had a similar problem or has had a stillbirth and then had a healthy baby. Please E-Mail me back I would love to hear from you. Thanks Vilma

Marcia's Comments
There are not many details in this letter, but I would consider the possibility of incompetent cervix(though usually they happen a little earlier) or an antibody problem. Both of these "situations" are linked in our Medical Information Page. There may be no answers, but one can always venture forth an idea to a doctor that deals with high risk situations - if you have not done so.

Another reasurrance for Vilma might be to ask for extra care as the last trimester approaches. Certainly, we have had many folks who have had stillbirths and then a healthy baby. I must say, though, they were carefully watched by their doctors.

Vilma
2/16/91
Stillborn
New Haven, CT
E-mail
1/27/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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Thanks for the website. It is good for me to read about others and to know I am not alone.

I am finding many people do not seem to understand the feelings of loss or they want to avoid me. They have no idea that I held my dead baby in my arms after being in labor and giving birth. I don't think my baby will have a birth or dealth certificate, but she is very real to me.

I lost my baby March 16, 1998- my second daughter at 16 weeks. My other daughter is 6 years old and is a joy to me.

My water broke 2 days after having an amnio. I am looking for help on how to deal with the grief and feelings of guilt on having the amnio.

Has anyone out there had a simular experience? My daughter's name is Faye Elizabeth who died and I will always have a special place in my heart for her. I am having a bit of a tough time now and I am looking for ways to cope with the grief, isolation and guilt. Thanks in advance. Lauren

Lauren
Faye Elizabeth
3/16/98/Amnio at 16 weeks
Waitsfield, VT
E-mail
4/7/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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I am so happy I found Share...I thought I was alone...Im very glad their is an support group for me. THANKS..... :)

(VisitMiscarriage/Relationships to read about Jennifer's story with a "happy ending."

Jennifer
Lawrence, Ma
E-mail
4/15/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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My wife, Cheryl, is having a very difficult time after the stillbirth of my son, Nicholas, 7 months ago. She is in a deep depression, and I am hoping the newsletter will help some, since we have no family support. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I would like to sent a donantion but do not know where to sent it. Thank you for this page and keep up the good work. John

John and Cheryl
Framingham, MA
E-mail
4/25/98

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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I am looking for someone who would like to talk over our loses through email exchange. I lost Nicholas as a stillborn, just over one year ago. Please email me and be patient I am new to the computer. Thank You and God bless.

Cheryl
Framingham, MA
2/24/99
E-mail

Marcia's comments: This site IS an email exchange. If you will visit the Sharing Stories category, you can read and reply to any of those entries. You can find folks that have had a similar loss and email those who you most identify with...that is part of what this site is all about! It is full of people who want to email each other.

For many healing involves reaching out for support and understanding from others...then our own heart becomes more aware that we are not alone in our efforts. Support from others can provide us with hope while encouraging us to "talk" through some of our feelings and reactions...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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I am looking forward to learning more about this topic so as to offer services for these individuals in my area.

Rev. Daniel J. Mallaber
Newark, NY

E-mail
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Forever in Our Hearts~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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