SHARE Atlanta Local Grief Support Group Information

The March of Dimes and SHARE Atlanta 2005
Why Walk for or Donate to or Acknowledge the MODs?

Dear Friends,

April 30, 2005 at 9 am...WalkAmerica

April's rains are here, but we are hoping for our usual sunny March of Dimes WalkAmerica day on April 30. (It was promised to us by Gene Norman, Chief Meteorologist, CBS-46 who spoke at the 2005 Downtown Atlanta WalkAmerica Kickoff Luncheon.) We are gearing up for another positive way to remember our babies and work toward research and finding ways to prevent further losses. As I have shared with many of our parents, MODs is one of the few organizations that is not afraid to talk about babies that die...or cures and ways to keep that from happening and how they lead to hope for all of us.

February 4, 2005 - March of Dimes Chairman's Luncheon

On February 4, Polly Keen, Cindy Ivey and her mom Pat and Cindy's new baby, Caden, and I attended the MODs Chairman's luncheon. Because of last year's donation total, we were honored to be included as one of the 2004 Olympic Park Top Teams during an inspirational celebration entitled "From Polio to Prematurity." There were representatives from organizations such as Bell South, Equifax, Citi, Turner Construction, Publix, etc. present - all eager and attentive!

MOD's National Ambassador Family: Justin, 7, and Dorenda Washington speak

The very special guest speaker, Dorenda Washington, the mom from the MOD's National Ambassador Family, who has lost 5 babies, shared her story with us. The audience, mostly non-bereaved individuals, was hearing what you and I hear within our group each time we come together. She told her story with passion and with a very clear message of her hope during each pregnancy, her incredible pain at each loss, and how she and her husband gradually worked to cope, heal, and to continue their efforts to have a family.

She was able to close with the introduction, with pride and love, of her son, Justin. He is 7 years old and a true miracle! He spoke to us, and we were blessed to be in attendance to his touching and joyful message of how MODs had helped his mom and dad through some of their pregnancies and helped Justin survive his - four months early - premature birth. We will have pictures of Justin and his mom with us in our next newsletter!

I wish that each of you could have heard Dorenda's testimony and then felt the pride she had for her son. Justin's words spoke clearly of the need for more support from those of us who can help to continue the efforts of the MODs. They are working to stop prematurity, but they also are working to find reasons and cures for birth defects and other issues that cause: babies to die, to be born with life threatening birth defects and life limiting conditions.

Why SHARE Atlanta Parents should consider donating or walking or acknowledging in some way what MODs is doing for many families....

No manner what your baby died of, I believe we need to support MODs in some way. Why? In my twenty plus years since Seth, Catherine and Elizabeth died, there have been a growing number of doctors who are supporting research and cures to help babies arrive safely. MODs has joined these doctors and made research a priority, supportive reading materials for prevention and intervention available, brought statistics about how many babies die from miscarriage, stillbirth and various known birth defects out in the open.

Yes, MOD's focus is on prematurity and, for the most part, on those babies that survive, but when they help parents who are working through a difficult pregnancy, whose baby is born too soon, etc, they are working to keep babies from dying. In their research they are finding ways to stop birth defects (folic acid for neural tube, etc.) and pregnancy issues such as (toxemia, anti-body factor, etc.).

We can not afford to bury our heads in the sand and hope that our baby will be the last that dies. I know that this is a difficult topic even for those who have experienced a loss. But loss continues to happen. I have been in many rooms where we (parents whose babies die) are not a popular topic. During a CDC conference several years ago, the former MOD's president embraced my words and concerns while some doctors wished to redirect my words away from the issue of death. Discussion of babies that die is hard for the medical community, too - life not death should be the outcome of a pregnancy.

We are grateful that we have come a long ways in our efforts to bring our reality to others. As a direct result, more medical support and research is happening and support for prevention and intervention is increasing. As each of us can, we have to keep the hope for emotional healing and medical support and outreach alive. This will help those in the medical field that truly want to help us (there are many) and those parents-to-be who will follow us - by giving them information and medical resources that work.

Walking in memory of our babies...and in hopes of ending pregnancy and newborn loss

On April 30, we have the opportunity to walk in memory of our baby. We honor our child's memory by giving money and time to find the causes for prematurity and birth defects. We hope that MODs will quickly increase their understanding and outreach to include a larger number of issues and causes that influence the Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Community. Our ultimate goal is one of helping MODs to help us put our group "out of business." We wish to close SHARE Atlanta's doors because more babies survive and parents will not need us any more.

SHARE Atlanta's team shirts and efforts...

When we walk "with" SHARE Atlanta's shirt on, we achieve several goals. We let others know that a group such as ours exists to support bereaved parents and their family and friends. We show that our group extends beyond ourselves to an outreach for others. We let them know that we walk in honor and in memory of a child that means much to us (no manner how long we carried him/her...this baby's presence is important) and will be "forever in our hearts." We let them know about our angel garden and who we are.

It wasn't all that long ago, that parents had no support system after a loss. Even today, many bereaved parents who have suffered a pregnancy or newborn loss believe that they are alone in their grief. We continually work to not be a "secret group" with a secret loss and grief. We want to spread the word about what we offer and about our outreach programs so other bereaved parents will feel the needed support and to provide advocacy for medical and emotional support. SHARE Atlanta's mission is healing and outreach.

There have been numerous people who have read our shirts, asked one of our walkers "who" we were and then joined us. If we had not been out there with our SHARE Atlanta shirts on, those members would never have found us. It is truly amazing to me, how walking in memory of our babies to raise money for research and outreach can do so much for outreach in general.

There is hope ~ but it only comes from ongoing effort...

Seeing Justin, full of a seven year old's joy and happiness, stand in front of so many adults and share his story after his mom spoke the depth of her pain and triumph of her victory -stays in my mind. But, I have many stories of such victory and pain, and I know how important research and outreach are. No one should be alone and no one should think all is being done that can be done. More help and support must happen to continue our mission of advocacy and outreach. The medical world, research, and the Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Community must work together to provide what is needed to lower the statistics of loss and to increase the number of babies who arrive safely.

It is not too late to join us or to raise some money or to send some financial support to us to be included in our SHARE Atlanta donation. For information see our site: "March of Dimes" http://www.shareatlanta.org/MODmenu.htm (for details)

Cindy, Jennifer and I hope that some of you will consider joining us at Olympic Park on April 30 or supporting MODs in some way. We always take a "group" picture before we start the walk.