SHARE Atlanta Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Grief Support

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"Sharing" Our Stories/Thoughts - Along this Path

Midterm Losses - Entries 2007-08

"Our Experience ~ Midterm Losses 2007-08"

"Still learning how to cope" by Tanya (3.07)

"Still learning how to cope"

Our twin daughters, Emma and Evey were born too early, at 23 weeks. Completely unexpected, our dreams of raising twin girls were shattered. I had just become used to the idea of having two more little girls running around with our 2 1/2 year daughter, Abbey. I%m just so glad she's not asking where the babies are anymore.

Emma survived for minutes after birth and her sister, Evey was born with no heartbeat.

It hurts so much to relive that day, but every day reminds me of something. I made breakfast several days after returning home. The sunny-side egg I had planned to make had a double yolk, so I had scrambled instead. Christmas was unbelievably painful and New Year%s was no better.

Now I'm dealing with grieving when everyone else has moved on and forgotten. I work in a hospital and the OB floor plays a lullaby overhead everytime a baby is born. My heart breaks everytime I hear it. No one ever played that music for my twins. Any ideas how to heal after everyone else (has moved on?)

Emma Grace & Evey Rose
12/15/2006
23 weeks stillborn/live birth
Boise, Idaho
Tanya
3.07

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Marcia's thoughts: In our groups we talk about grief lasting 6 months to a year - or longer depending upon many different factors. Most of us do not understand much about the grief process and others want us to move along before we are ready. I have written about grief on our website and you can read about it under:

Grief

There are no magic ways to heal. "Doing for and remembering" our babies is very healing. This is most important during the first 6 months to a year. The fourth to sixth month are usually the most difficult then a break in the intensity until the first anniversary. Our page about Coping Ideas and Anniversaries and Holidays can help us during the first year. Gradually, we move along...knowing that our babies will be forever in our hearts.

Ideas for Coping

Holidays (Mother/Father's Day) and Anniversaries