My due date was still more than two weeks away, when one of my neighbors came bouncing across the lawn with a beautiful package for the arrival to be. I remember wincing, with something in the back of my mind always nagging me, wondering if this baby would be ok. But, it was thoughtful and caring on the part of my neighbor and most of my family and friends had treated my pregnancy as a non-event, given that this was to be my third child.

The gift was very generous: a sweet little outfit with a matching bib, booties and blanket. Although the colors of the outfit were gender neutral, it somehow screamed out GIRL to me. I winced again (how I would love a girl, but I still have a sinking feeling about this pregnancy )

My precious daughter, Megan, was stillborn three weeks after I opened the neighbor's gift. After losing her, there were many logistics to deal with, including what do I do with that gift?? My neighbor did not want the gift back; she didn't know what to say or do regarding the gift. I couldn't return it. If it were returned, wouldn't that be acting as if my child did not exist? My child did exist! It was all terribly awkward.

There were many things which I clung to in desperation and held near to my heart after losing Megan, but this outfit somehow signified my anger and outrage. This cute little outfit was meant for a live, active, moving child - my child. Why wasn't my little girl here to wear it? Why was this so unfair? Would I ever have another baby to hold who could wear the outfit? Who knew. Would I even want a new baby to wear something destined for Megan? Probably not. Why, God, am I having to deal with any of this at all?

As I began my path of grief and became involved with SHARE Atlanta, I decided to donate the gift to another family who hopefully needed and wanted it. Somehow, that simple act brought me a lot of peace. I freed myself of the object which was just too poignant of a reminder to keep in my house.

Perhaps in some small way I felt that Megan lived on because I had given something of hers to a living child - something of hers which was tangible, and meant for this earth even though she could not be here. Perhaps it was as simple as passing on the kindness my neighbor had extended to me, in hopes that someday my soul would again feel generous, kind-hearted, and alive.

We would love for you to include our new announcement about Jacqueline's birth in the newsletter. I really hope that this provides hope to other people whom have suffered as us (Hence Jaqueline's middle name -)

I also wanted to ask you a question. Juliana's birthday is coming up and we want to remember it. Lori was telling me that Share takes donations from people and purchase gifts for other needy children. Can you provide more info on that? I really want to do something to help other children in her honor.

When we were about to go into the OR, I did hear that they were bringing in another woman who was to deliver at 24 weeks (same as us) -- keep your prayers out there for them. Warmest regards, Kevin

Another story of honoring, remembering and "giving" is from Valerie Scholovich, our SHARE Atlanta mom who takes our donations to the Foster Care Shelter. The story focuses around all of our donations, but most especially the one made from parents of twin sons who gave two trucks in memory of their sons.

December 2004...Taking "loving outreach" to the shelter..

Today I took all of the many donations we have recently received from SHARE Atlanta moms to the Foster Care Center. The center volunteers are so touched by what SHARE Atlanta does, and that we have chosen them as part of our outreach. It is always heartwarming for me to see the many volunteers and the hard work they are doing for these kids, but this day was especially neat.

As the ladies opened our packages they oohed and aahed over every item and were quite excited to receive formula for the newborns. There were several notes from the SHARE Atlanta moms in loving memory of their lost babies among the packages. Seeing the baby names in writing brought such a touching and emotional reality to the situation - there was not a dry eye around. The volunteers all really felt good that at least a small amount of peace and good could come to all of us from sharing in this way.

Two Shiney new trucks in memory of two tiny boys..for twin boys in South Georgia!

I shared with the volunteers that the two new trucks which were being donated were purchased in memory of twin boys lost this year and that their mother and father really wanted to give something they thought their boys would have one day enjoyed. After more sobs and tissues, the ladies reviewed the current placement orders and were able to find twin boys in South Georgia who would be the right age to enjoy the trucks. It was so sweet, and so perfect.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I continued to cry. I cried for the generosity of the SHARE Atlanta parents, the babies they have lost, and the amazing commitment of the center volunteers. The privilege of being there today is surely one of the blessed gifts of my girls. Valerie

And the twin's mom's response on learning of this event...

Thanks again for sharing that sweet story with me yesterday. It touched my heart in so many ways. How I would love to see the faces of those twins when they see the trucks!

I told my husband of the story and he said "I'm speechless!"

..."the spirit of our boys will continue to live on" shares the dad

He later told me that he was very pleased that the spirit of our boys will continue to live on in so many ways. He was grateful that their lives could bring smiles to the faces of the children in that way. Thank you again and please thank Valerie for us!

We feel as though our donations - both to the shelter and to the Festival of Trees have provided hope both to those who received and those who "gave." In both activities we honored our special babies by remembering their presence in our lives and by helping other people know about SHARE Atlanta's organization (for those who might need our support). We also broaden our efforts to find medical and emotional support for parents and future babies. We hope that the material gifts of clothes, toys, or money may bring comfort and/or support to other children as well. (We estimate that SHARE Atlanta raised around or over $1000. for the Atlanta Healthcare System with our tree.)